Things that have happened since my last post:
Wowzer and I got married. Big fancy wedding type schtuff ensued. Surprisingly, we had sex more leading up to the wedding than immediately after it. Nobody tells you just how exhausted you'll be post-wedding. Seriously. Somewhere between picking out super sexy lingerie to wear and actually taking it off, it's like you just want to fall over and snore. I picked good stuff, too. Watching Wowzer's eyes just about pop out of his head was worth it, even if we did just fall asleep after that. This may be why so many people elope. I'm sure there's more sexual energy when all you have to do is agree with Elvis and collect your complimentary chips.
And, of course, there were discussions with Wowzer as well as poly chosen family leading up to the wedding about relationship models and what we're open to. My sister suggested that parts of the vows eliminated the potential for a threesome at some point. (It doesn't.) Someone else asked if we were open to a triad. (We're not.) The idea of monoamorousness still confuses people. It's still evolving for me, honestly.
One of the defining characteristics of it, for me, is that we communicate about everything.
Me: What do you think of having a threesome sometime?
W: We could do that, if it were the right person and we had good ground rules.
W: If we had a threesome, I'd want it to be someone who got that it was a one-time thing.
Me: That limits who we could share that with.
And so on...
Sometimes I think we communicate beyond what most would see as "normal." It works, though. Being clear about what we want, like, don't want, or don't like eliminates "What the fuck is that??" moments. That communication is at the heart of our monoamorousness and, I think, truly sex-positive.
My guest post on the Sex Positive blog was published this week, too. It puts me in a new realm of coolness, I think. You can read that here.
Read some other stuff while you're there, too. Maybe even buy a fucking t-shirt. :)
I'm returning to writing on Sex at Dawn in upcoming posts, I promise. I have lots to say on that.
First off, the wedding was amazing, you were beautiful and Wowzer was stunning (I think he was also stunned by your beauty.)
ReplyDeleteThe two of you have done an amazing thing. You are starting your life off right. Very few people in this country actually do that. Your openness and honesty with each other is the most important ingredient in a successful life. On top of that, you are both willing to entertain desires that you each have. You aren't trying to change each other to mold each other into what you want each other to be. You love him for who he is and he loves you for who you are. That is true and honest love.
That honesty and trust is what will carry you through rough times to come and will fill your lives with joy from now on.
I have always stated that I am poly and it is true. We both are. We both have romantic love for other people. But it would take an incredibly special person to become a serious part of our lives. And that is not likely to happen. We are dedicated to each other completely and totally. Does that make us monoamoroustically polyamorous? :-D Maybe. But one thing is for sure. Our honesty and total trust in each other is what has truly made the last 20+ years so incredibly wonderful.
I can't tell you how happy I am for the two of you. You are truly a blessed couple and I am ecstatically happy that you have found each other.